♫ 다음날 (승리 solo) - 빅뱅

I'm going to beg my parents to let me go overseas now. I'm sick of this place. Maybe I'll stay with Tauffek and Linda in Australia? I need a change of environment. My mum actually encouraged me to try and get a scholarship overseas, so maybe I will. I said no at first, because I didn't want to leave a certain someone here but now that... Yeah, so maybe I will. Matthew's going to Melbourne? Hmm... And Caitlin's to Sydney?

I just need to get away from this place. I can't even count all my bad memories. My brother's death, the fruithead, ladeeladeela... There's nothing keeping me here anymore. I would actually try Korea, but let's be realistic.

[edit] So I went to bed again. Cos I dreamt of my brother last night and wanted to dream of him again. I basically woke up crying in the morning. =( I think the things he told me really woke me up. It was one of those dreams that my family gets. Like, where we can't see his face, but we can can hear his voice. D:

Uhm. It was about what happened, really. He said he's proud that I'm getting through everything, because he thinks my life has been sorta shitty for someone my age. Then I told him that maybe it'd be good if I left here, not commit suicide, but go overseas. And... I actually remember every single thing he said.

"Its up to you, how you make the best of it. Are you willing to leave ____ here? Because even though you act like its nothing, I know that you're hurting badly and you miss ____. And you know you're wrong, but because you always do the wrong things, you think, Hey, why not just fall right in. Actually... I think you love him the way you love me. You've just been through a lot of crap with trust that you don't want to show it much to him. You're just afraid of hurting him... You need to stop doing that, because you're hurting him more. And stop being a jabroni and just say sorry. Deep down, can you bear to lose him? I'm not going to visit him, so I'm not going to know how he's doing now but its probably not good. Can he bear to lose you? I'm not answering that. You're old enough to think for yourself."

And I was thinking, that's why I need to leave. FOR SOME FUNNY REASON, HE KNEW I WAS THINKING THAT?! Wth.. So he told me to patch it up with _____. But after reading something I think it'll be much better if I leave.

Ok, enough with that...

DAESANGS! I am gunning for FT Island winning 신인 그룹. =D Cos from all the news articles lately, everyone's into them. And its like, 사랑앓이 is top of A LOT of charts. Oh, that, and they're just too damn cute.

I LOVE AMY! ♥ Cos she wrote me the 2nd part of my fic and WB's turning up everywhere in PJs. xD AND HONGKI'S MY BEST FRIEND WHO IS A TOTAL.. DOOFBAG. Woots~